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Sunday, February 27, 2011
hectic day yesterday ): went to the clinic to take my blood test result early in the morning, and i got lost in woodlands, cause the bloody clinic is in the middle of nowhere. took 10 minutes just to get there.. i was panting by the time i reached. i was just about to celebrate when i realized that i dint know my way back to the MRT. bloody creep ): spent another 10 more minutes in trying to find my way out.. by the time i got there i was already late for work. rushed like mad to work and did shelving for 4 hours straight. damn the supervisor! done with work, i was so ready to go home and relax. the moment i reached my front door i broke down cause i forgot my key. ha ha bloody ha. went back to work to get the keys from mom and slept in the MRT for a bit cause i was so darn tired. thumbs up aye? Wednesday, February 23, 2011 im having break outs like nobody business. not that i care much, its just very much annoying. reminiscing those days, smooth skin, no make up needed, real carefree (: tomorrow is gonna be the end of everything. i hope everything will go smoothly. one step at a time.. ma, stay strong okay! now see, another night.. great JJ just great.. -.-" Thursday, February 17, 2011 I want to say something, anything, but nothing’s coming out. No matter how hard i try to find the right words. When im lying in bed, so tired but i can’t sleep. So i just have to lie there, and wait for the tears to come out, but its not coming out already cause my body is just too fucking tired of caving in, of complying to my needs to feel better. so i lay awake in bed last night, staring at the fucking ceiling. counting the hours left to sleep. checking the time on my phone. but it took forever to strike 6.59am. waiting for that alarm to ring. reading your previous texts made me laugh on my own. our conversations were always so silly. even smileys became a war conversation, until either of us succumbed. i fell asleep somewhere in between.. 3am in the morning perhaps, or maybe 4am. i wasn't too sure, it doesn't matter anyways. tired, im so fucking tired. physically and mentally very very tired. tired of being so afraid of every single thing. afraid of disappointing my family. afraid of losing any one of them. afraid of failing every single module. afraid of losing my friends over something stupid. afraid of unnecessary fights.. afraid of losing you. so very afraid of losing someone i care so much for. if its possible, i want to ask you every single day for the rest of my life. have you eaten? are you fine? have you studied? i want to tell you every single day to be happy, to smile a lot, to stay healthy and be fine. but im so tired. trying every single time is very very tiring. waiting is tiring. wanting something for another person is very very very tiring. so many things i wanted to do with you before the two trips. thinking about it makes me sad. i would trade so many things to do random stuff with you. someone pointed out before that i need to take a breather. a long break away from all these, all i could think of was, that was my break. cause when you're being all funny and random, i forget about everything else. that's my break. you're my break from everything. isn't that what a break is all about? to allow you to forget about all the shit you don't want to feel. all the bullshitting hard work from school. from the fake laughter around you. from the fake faces you see and smile at every single day in school. cause its all politics every fucking where. survival of the fittest. shut up and you lose, open up your mouth and you still lose. im gradually losing everything in my life. slowly but i can feel it happening. cause you know what they say, nothing last forever. but I'll tell you the truth, I've never met anyone quite like you in my whole entire life. well at least not of the opposite sex. someone i don't have to pretend or act cool in front of. no one quite like you. Wednesday, February 16, 2011  A234-2-W54G-B : Problem 15 - A A251-3-W54G-B : Problem 15 - A A301-4-W54G-B : Problem 15 - A A232-8-W54G-B : Problem 15 - A A204-1-W54G-B : Problem 15 - X HAHAHAHA was competing with a friend over this.. hey you lose the bet, dude. one absent not counted right? there. told you Aliza loves me. coffee for the rest of my RP life on you. (: Tuesday, February 15, 2011 we talk a little less everyday. and i just hope you know, that if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true. cause the hardest part of this, is leaving you. Monday, February 14, 2011 nice. what a nice nice day. can you sense the sarcasm? Sunday, February 13, 2011 done with both genetics and anatomy, finally (: what an interesting day at work indeed. a couple of guys approached me to ask about cookery books, one even went all out to explain that he's cooking for his girlfriend this coming valentines. i didn't even mind helping him find a good book. people in love makes me smile smile smile ♥ Thursday, February 10, 2011 i think i have insomnia. i really do ): been having trouble sleeping and i hate the fact that i don't know whats wrong. i don't mind the fact that i fell so darn tired but i just can't shut this darn eyes, the thing is i babble a lot of bullshit and then i sing out loud all the freaking time. the worst part is that im aware of doing it, but i just cant stop.. like bla bla bla blaaaa~ what the hell happened to Enrique Iglesias anyways, it seems like someone kidnapped the original Enrique and placed a dancy phony guy instead. >: [ i miss the sexy guy who serenaded, Hero... the real deal, sighs. the half an hour meeting during lunch with my advisor and committee members left me swearing the rest of the day. apparently my advisor listed down her preference for the new committee member and she actually elected me as the President. ... ..... is that Aunty for real? trying to list down the pros and cons and apparently they both level out. commitment vs great reflection for my resume. its 11 pm now, and im soo darn tired. but im not sleepy.. i wish i have someone to talk to, at least till i fall asleep. ohh that reminds me.. Wednesday, February 9, 2011  Tuesday, February 8, 2011 kroegering :you remind me a lot of Holden Caulfield [Google if you must]. you're quirky that way. okay if you think its an insult, it's not.. okay.. i should just shut up. DeathMayDie :This is the absolute number one best compliment I have ever received on tumblr, I love The Catcher in The Rye so much Monday, February 7, 2011 its depressing as hell watching the television nowadays, especially the news, riots here and there. and then when it's advertisement time we have those quit gambling bull ass.. how ironic, dint hear them complaining about it before the IR idea came about.. might as well hold up a "no Singaporean" rule there right? besides, the main idea behind the bloody IR was to attract foreigners, but i heard that because of their rules and stuff, even the foreigners find the place a turn off. ha ha bloody ha! Tuesday, February 1, 2011 heyy (: happy February to all. it's supposed to be a good month, neh it has to be.. look at the weather, its beautiful (: okay not so beautiful for any bikers out there horh.. but walking in the rain is lovely. so i must say that im loving the weather. im just trying to look at things differently. no one is forcing me to, im just trying my best to smile at everything. anything small, anything at all. maybe what i need is to just get away from everyone. everyone who expects too darn much from me. funny, how much you want others to be happy. to stay happy, that you start to neglect your own damn self. neglect my own self? who am i kidding. so many things in this mind of mine. maybe its true what JJ said. the heaven IS crying. that's why it's been raining so heavily. these past few weeks, it has been pretty tiring. i realized that i dint even talk much to the people i love, its like im living in my own world, trying to think of ways to make others happy. ha ha bloody ha, no. more like i was thinking of their problems, not the solution. i swear i can stone for hours thinking. im so fucking lame. you make my teeth clinch and my hands shake do you ever see what you do to me? you’re wearing me out, just wearing me out but i’m wearing you down you’re impossible but lovely so impossible to win or please i’m wearing you out, just wearing you out but i’m wearing you down take what you want from me, it means nothing now take everything from me, it means nothing now not so easy to forgive, harder to forget take what you want i’m impossible to figure out so impossible, you had your doubts |
 No red meat and i hate fizzy drinks.i don't like Saving The Earth campaigns, i think that's just hypocritical bullshit. deaf inducing voice, protection needed. passionate about animals :3 i love books and coffee, big time. " family first before anything, that's the rule i would like to hold on to. My Mother. My Sister. My Brother. They matter, and i can't imagine not having them in my life. cheesy? i know, i am cheesy as hell. i treasure my friends a lot, if you play them out, i might smash your face. i won't try to please you, if you like me,lets be friends, if you don't, you just don't☮ ☜♥☞ oooh. and then there's him a very very important person. Existence very much valued.☜♥☞ the people. Airin. | Allie.| Edward.| Feeqs.| Fyt.|Gee. | April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 Designer : Chili. x o x o |