Nurul Fatin :]

2011-06-02T23:34:00.000+08:00

The Yakuza are believed to be one of the largest organized crime phenomena in the world and have been around longer than the Sicilian mafia. Their origins can be followed far back as to the year 1612 when men known as kabuki-mono (the crazy ones), came to the attention of local authorities. Their odd clothing, style, distinctive haircuts and anti-social behavior gained the attention of mainstream society. They have gained notoriety not just in Japan but around the world for their activities.
In Japanese legal terminology, Yakuza organizations are referred to as bôryokudan, literally violence groups. Yakuza members consider this an insult, as bôryokudan is a term which can be applied to any violent criminal. It is generally believed that most Yakuza members come from poor backgrounds or are on the margins of society.They mainly make their livings from unlawful activities, such as gambling, drugs, prostitution and extortion. For many poor people the Yakuza have become like a family that protects them. After the earthquake in Kobe the Yakuza arranged financial aid and even a helicopter for local people most effected by it. Many local business see the extortion money as a form of 'tax' and the police are sometimes reluctant to become involved.

For the Yakuza it doesn´t matter which country you come from or from which class of society you belong to, it is not too hard to become a member of the 'New Yakuza'. The Yakuza still see their role as that of taking care of those on the margins of society. The Yakuza is an all men's society. They don't generally trust women and view them as being weak. They believe that women cannot fight like men, that women are not born to fight. To a Yakuza member, the most important thing is courage. They are prepared to fight to the death, rather than lose the battle. Yakuza members must be willing to die for their boss.

It's common within Yakuza circles to tattoo themselves. Their tattoos can depict their clan's crest. Some Yakuza members tattooed a black ring around the arm for each crime they committed. Tattoos were a mark of strength (some tattoos can take over 100 hours to do) and were also a sign that they were unwilling to accommodate themselves to societies rules and norms. Although tattoos have become mainstream in Japan as well as around the world it is not uncommon for public onsen (Japanese baths) and some capsule hotels not to admit people with tattoos as was my experience in Japan. Many of the older generation still associate tattoos with the criminal classes which may be the reason you don't see to many people showing them off in public places.

reading on more (:

2011-05-31T23:03:00.000+08:00

what a depressing day today. wait, can a good thing be a cause of depression too? guess not.
i think that tall people sweats lesser walking to school i really believe so. they get to walk with long strides while us short people have to walk much quicker just to catch up. hrmmm..
i was sweating quite badly this morning trying to catch up with long legs. listening to the music that loud and focusing on long legs, no wonder i didn't see Huda walking beside me. she had to tap me in order for me to realize ): but dude.. your hair. -.-"
and then that Huda girl soooo confidently told me a wrong information. my dear, there's like a thousand others wearing the same exact jeans hoooh~ funny!
actually my main purpose blogging today is to kinda talk about how freaking shitty the day was. in class. heh.
first of all, no offence to any of my team mates if any of you are reading this. i seriously don't care what kind of people you are in life and it doesn't affect my life at all. and i for the love of god couldn't care shit if any of you can't ever find a job in life or got stuck with a freaking beer belly at home cradling your ten kids.
but seriously, if you're in my team, i care. i DO care how efficient you are damn it!
im not trying to say that i don't consider my classmates as friends but i don't know i have trust issues and then i have friends issue, so i think 6 weeks is too short for me to ever consider... you know.. well anyways. what im trying to say is that today's work was almost a solo work.
its seriously sick and stupid that i have to tell each and every one of you what to do and how to do it. its kind of pathetic. they don't even have the initiative to at least do some research while im writing in the mahjong. do i seriously have to tell you guys what to research on. i mean if you really want to help, you would at the very least be on your laptop googling something, anything, not on fb damn it.
and i have to tell that freak-living-in-her-own-world China shit what is needed again and again and again! i mean, get it in your head damn it! there's four things to do and i have to repeat that again and again, wtf. and for the love of god, thank you for keeping all the resources to yourself while i struggle with two childish boys who needs more attention than any girl with bimbo of the highest level.
phew. okay that was fine. im not angry okay, im just saying, help me out guys -.-"
and then i received the invitation card and i cant remember the way there, damn it i went there so many times before -.-" bedok, why bedok, why silat federation. what to wear, no heels. need to find heels. need to find guy partner. need. need. need. -.-"

2011-05-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

ELMO CUPCAKE (:
it doesn't really look like Elmo huh, i thought so too. it looks kinda on the creepy side. hrmm. pedo Elmo?
okay so it tastes like shit, honestly. not that i know what shit tastes like. metaphorically, hrmmm..
oh oh the eyes tastes good (:
you're not reading this so its all fine.
if you are..... well just know that I'm being honest.

FYP-ing like a mad noob. sighs~
i really can't wait for the holidays! okay so we have to study and such but can you imagine the amount of sleep we get?! YIPPPPPEEE~
and its definitely movies weeeeek! i gotta catch up with whats on cinema. maybe a movie marathon.. hrmmm *hint hint*
and Atikah, maybe i should drop by your school to visit ((:

just a note, Brussels Sprouts taste like lama's butt. again, not that i know what it tastes like. hrmm.. ):

2011-05-29T22:53:00.000+08:00

first of all, i would like to point out that yes, I've indeed dried up when it comes to artistic ideas. ): and i would also like to point out that I did a lot more than these (:
but.. DAWWWWWW~ Its ARTY SUNDAYY~
hey hey, before you start judging, i DO have a life. these shirts, well It's supposed to be for national day -.-
I know I know, it doesn't look like it belongs, but there's not much option when it comes to Sinagpore National day. i mean come one, what am i supposed to draw? stars and the lame ass merlion? >: [

loving my tumblr dashboard. see that's ^ is me not having a life. ): when was this even, must have been real depressed or something. HAHA omg the weird guy, damn I'm mean! -.-"
i should really go to sleep. goodnight (:

oh i realised that sometimes guys give out the best advice about their own kind. and i guess a friend of mine said sense : "Don't bother missing someone who treats you that way, if he cares even as a friend he wouldn't do that to you. as long as you know that you didn't do anything wrong ever to him, be okay. As long as you know, you've tried, be okay. If you think he thinks of you the same amount of time you think of him, you're seriously wrong. I'm a guy, and i don't spend my life fucking the internet or a book, i can tell."- A
okay now, seriously goodnight ☮

2011-05-27T23:48:00.000+08:00

Look at Ben. OMG~ a walking sex being.
lets share cereal spoon.
I've been experiencing this weird sticky feeling way down my esophagus. like phlegm but not really like phlegm like something stupid stuck there. tssk.. i keep trying to cough it out. but it's not going anywhere ladies and gentlemen.

2011-05-27T00:11:00.000+08:00

Hassan Aziz, wait for me alright (:
I'm pretty set on Armstrong Atlantic State University, just that money and missing my family is an issue of course.
but i want it quite badly. if i have to work my ass slowly there, i will (:
away from Singapore. perfect!

2011-05-25T11:13:00.004+08:00

it's really unfair ):
what a strong lady she is. god bless her for breaking her silence.
now now i gotta get back to studying and its raining so heavily ((:

2011-05-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

have you ever tried studying in front of the television? it doesn't work.
have you ever tried studying in front of the television while talking to a very interesting person? it doesn't work either.

I've been reading the same paragraph again and again. and I've absorbed close to nothingness (:

2011-05-20T21:44:00.001+08:00

i hope i won't ever have to face the day i need to tell you these exact words. cause i don't think i can face it.

I heard that you're settled down,

That you found a girl and you're married now,

I heard that your dreams came true,

Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you,

Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,

I had hoped you'd see my face,

And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,

I wish nothing but the best for you, too,

Don't forget me, I beg,

I remember you said,

"Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,

You know how the time flies,

Only yesterday was the time of our lives,

We were born and raised in a summer haze,

Bound by the surprise of our glory days,

Nothing compares,

No worries or cares,

Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

by Adele Laurie Blue Adkins

2011-05-19T16:16:00.000+08:00

that's a rabbit. freaking pole dancing. adorable (:

FRIENDS. define friends.
i know a lot of people who calls on me whenever they need something. its disgusting.
i feel like telling them to eff off, but i just can't.. i guess cause i don't want to be a part of them, and i don't want to stoop that low.
no. they are not friends. they are just people i know.
how do you define friends?
no, I don't need to meet up with my friends every single day.
and no, i don't even expect communication.
but don't treat me like you don't know me and suddenly talk to me like your life depends on me. it makes me want to puke blood.
i don't count friends but i really think i have a few true friends. my true friends. how many do you have?
and A friend who has seen every single bit of my pathetic disgusting side. and has always been there still. do you have one? your lost.

2011-05-16T16:06:00.003+08:00

❥ huge rings ((:

I'm craving for pancakes. hrmm.
having a really really bad day~ started the day with Justin Bieber's song in my head the moment i woke up. ): i don't understand why it happened, it just did. ):
bad tudung day. ): and bad blouse day. ): and bad jeans day. ):
i don't even want to talk about the bus incident with Hud. okay thats a lot hilarious.
and lab today sucks. my team didn't get to see all the components we were supposed to see and and the staining method and and and the microscope. ):
and the best part. i didn't bring wallet, tamagotchi, mouse and water bottle to school. DAMN.
so yeah.

update :
damn, i thought my night is gonna be better. at least not like this. wow, what a way to end the night. why am i not angry. why am i so fucking sad. if you're not gonna reply don't question me so rudely.

2011-05-10T15:44:00.002+08:00

See this dog? He was ABUSED. Two drunk dumbells tied this dog to the back of their truck, “forgot that he was back there” and DROVE OFF!!! Luckily, the cops were called and this poor dog got the medical attention he needed! The dog is currently doing fine (despite the horrible looking wounds) and will be up for adoption as soon as his wounds completely heal.

2011-05-09T10:09:00.001+08:00

2011-05-04T00:10:00.000+08:00

just so you know, I'm not a fan but quite honestly, the music video of this particular song is very very urmmm.. very cute. heh~
reading Hyperbole and a Half, its so goddamn hilarious, thanks Tiara.. (: its a wonderful night~

2011-04-29T23:23:00.001+08:00

I don’t understand. Why do I keep losing everyone?
I don't understand. Why I'm still here, thinking of why you do some stuff you do.
i don't understand. why i still care.

HA HA bloody HA.
immensely stupid, i don't understand most of the decisions i chose. seriously.

spamming Diniy's wall with hatred. using bombastic words to get to him. I WON WON WON WON!

2011-04-25T22:57:00.000+08:00

come to think of it it's quite worrying. ): why are you so fucked up inside. sighs~
school was fine, ended pretty late today, long winded faci today.. kept repeating things we already learned two semesters ago. i guess she's kinda new so, we gotta let it go.
i feel a need to vent out and just cry. haha~ like really cry it all out. all these things I've been keeping inside, i just want it out that way. cause i can't do it anymore. no i don't blame it on pms. i really don't.
I'm done. (:

2011-04-24T16:47:00.000+08:00

urmm yes, I'm definitely dying.
i'll be real honest okay, fuck the Club and fuck SLA fiesta. i have better things to do and think of.. gosh i wish i can just let go of the whole thing and ignore all the phone calls and text messages. biggest jerk action definitely. but seriously everything is just too last minute and i really really don't care whether or not there's any potential new members. you can't even handle us MCs -.-"
lets just say I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened last Thursday, everyone was being way too kind. and there's of course the FB message.. hrmm.. i don't think you're reading this anymore but that was very very random. i mean aren't we cool? besides i really don't get why you chose to apologize last Thursday. and guess what? i thought you already apologized before? no? haha
you know while i was reading that message i was just thinking, maybe just maybe too haughtily, that i don't want your apology. i want the people who judged me and is still judging me every time they pass by me, to apologize. yup, i want that. cause the fact that none of my friends judged you and hell they can't even be bothered by your existence makes me feel like crap that i have to deal with them judging me. blame it on my ego. haha but neh i shall just keep it here. we don't need a whole new semester of DRAMA. besides, come on, we have all moved on (: or maybe its just me and my friends? okay no, I'm just saying.
work sucks two days straight of sucky work. okay maybe today is a little better (: yesterday was hell. you know you're working for shit when your supervisor is a bias racist. and and when your supervisor just wont stop comparing the fact that your mom holds a higher position at your workplace. HA HA BLOODY HA. well taught her one lesson yesterday, that is TO NEVER EVER mention my mom as being the cause of any stupid mistakes i do, the cause or has any relation to it. with the rate that the ass is going i think she might just struck a heart attack or something. PPPFFFFT. okay I'm not praying for it to happen, please God, I'm just rambling.

2011-04-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

ENJOYING ROCKMELT THROUGHLY THANKS TO TERENCE YAPPEDY YAP YAP THE PARTY BOYYY((:
haha okay so its probably an old thing but seriously, lets just say after mastering Rockmelt, it is a true JOY! okay two HUGE things happened in the evening (: first of went to visit Tok Ayah and the rest since Feeqs is gonna start learning Quran real soon (: what a joy, i miss them so much. get to meet Bro Yan, which isn't much of a joy since i met him like last last month? haha~ dint get to meet Sis Sulas since she just got back from a night shift at the hospital. ):
then then guess who texted me! Sis Soffy.. what a night, such a joy talking to her again.. i miss going to her house for tuition. haha for maths, physics and chemistry if im not mistaken ((: aah, i need to find time to meet her (: oooh and someone's now attached to a Wahab boy, ancient name but looks cool enough for me, biking around and such (:
that humongous Diniy is a big bully. annoying like hell and still can accuse me of annoying him. still can accuse me of "touching" him. AS IF! haha the only moment i "touched" him was when i punched his HUGE arms. please eeh. cheering and such is not cool eeh.. bloody hell.

2011-04-19T23:02:00.000+08:00

worth staring for hours aye?
okay so yesterday was awesome, today is/was awesome and tomorrow is off day so im telling you YAY! there's two annoying Diniys and two wonderful Felicias in my class. so im preparing myself and i've decided to call my felicia, Fel and my Diniy, Nifail. okay eeww, not my Diniy, more like Lisa's Diniy.. hehe (: a lot of whack job in my class, and of course there's the whole clan of crazy arse awesomeness : Airin, Cindy, Khaliesah and Marilou (: khal in my class is a plus plus point ^^
i can't believe im having Aliza again. i guess she's not that bad, i mean trip to India definitely changed the way i look at her but i still can't believe she's teaching me again. spent the whole day at lab today regardless of some protests. so whats new, we ended very very very late.. crap everyone kept whining the whole day, sleepy sleepy sleepy~ haha
lecturing someone about staying healthy. just between me and you, every single thing i was telling him was a HA HA BLOODY HA, AS IF! i don't even practice what i preached.

2011-04-15T00:08:00.001+08:00

2011-04-13T19:07:00.000+08:00

To some, the cigarette is a portable therapist. ~Terri Guillemets

oh well, another one bites the dust..

truly enjoyed myself yesterday, explored a lot of new things and i thank you for that ♥ we have to go back for more (:

i cant decide whether or not to re-follow Harry :/ i mean im a fan and re-following sucks but i just cant ignore his comments that night. -.-" why am i even posting this.

damn school reopens next week, sucks :/ im not ready.. i still want that break.. and damn, FYP.. and damn, clinical chemistry, first day of that module and we already have practical. :/ gotta focus next semester, i would like to increase that GPA very much, yes very very much ((:

2011-04-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

something i need to instill in this head of mine. I've always tried to shun these people whenever i don't have a penny to spare or if im afraid ( they can be a lil aggressive sometimes ).. maybe all they are asking is a smile. gee, im thinking too much..

my mame has grown into Lovelitchi ((: it looks like a lamb!

" Did you know when you dream about a person, that person went to sleep thinking of you? Did you know when the person you like looks at you and then looks down, they’re crazy about you? Did you know that when a person looks at you directly in the eyes they love you more than you think? Did you know when that person looks at you a lot they can’t live without you? Did you know when they leave, they say bye too much because they don’t want to let you go? "

The above statement is seriously bullshit. maybe when you're in love you might probably believe it.. just saying (:

2011-04-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

a lot of songs running through my mind, like my own installed playlist.. scaring the sheit out of me! its like a mixture of genres, of different ages but def a playlist.. i'll list some : Space Bound - Eminem ft some unknown pet, 1983 - Neon Trees, Creep - Radiohead, Words - Bee Gees and Linkin Park - Numb. freaky, i know.

meet my evolved mametchi egg.. now, shell-tchi. very hideous. hahaha (:

2011-04-08T23:45:00.003+08:00

this is my TAMAGOTCHI! okay this is not my picture. LOL, i'll take mine the next morning, im just excited, i've gotta to show the world! say hello to Mametchi... sis chose the black one.. i know right, it is so adorable~

begged my sis last night and convinced her that i will take care of it like for reaal <3 and she bought me one just now.. dawwwww. i love you sis (:

named my pet Mame, and its sleeping now.. been playing games with it.. can't wait for it to wake up !

2011-04-08T00:19:00.001+08:00

im pretty sure of it (:

well hello world, i yam back from India. i guess i don't have anything BAD to say about the place. okay maybe just the traffic or or or urmm, the urine stench everywhere. people pee everywhere there. even on walls with a " Do Not Urinate Here" sign. LOL

enjoyed my time shopping, meditating ( haha attempt number 2 failed ) and of course learning (: they are actually nice people, willing to share information and pass on the knowledge. come to think of it, there's some things Singaporeans should really learn from them. i guess, that's it? heh (:

say Amin (:

dear god, please make him better. the school reopens in two weeks time. if you were to ever place me in the same class as him, i wouldn't want to see a bandaged hand. and its pretty serious, so im praying hard that it will go away. hopefully it's just false alarm.
dear god, please also make Huda's daddy better. she's pretty stressed up about it. i want her to be happy, so please make him better, take the stroke away ):
dear god, please let the first day of school be awesome for Malsy. i don't think she will have any trouble making new friends but just make it awesome for her okay (:\
dear god, please make my mum, sis and bro happy every single day of the rest of their entire lives ( okay maybe that's asking for too much ) especially my mum, cause she deserves the best.
dear god, please allow me to meet my best friend before school reopens cause i miss her like madgoose! ): ooh and make the outing with the rest of my best buddies happen too please..
dear god, please help me be a better person. i would really like to restart my life and forget everything, but since i can't, just help me a better person.

thank you, i larve you (:

2011-03-27T12:49:00.006+08:00

dear Medina, you're goddamn beautiful, i'll give that to you and if this whole thing is genuine, god

bless your soul. i wonder what's behind all these? i mean what's your weakness actually. heh (:

see that tattoo on that hand. he's the reason why im so drawn to the piano. heh, actually, i have always been the drums type but Urie is a different case (:

2011-03-26T01:05:00.000+08:00

gosh he's so retarded. god bless his hilarious soul. look at Spencer's shirt. lmao, cute.

im dying of pain, literally. not some fucking heartache or what bullshit. serious ass pain and i have no idea if it's gonna get better tomorrow, okay technically later since its already 12.30 am ): i want to go to the theater production thing, been a long time since i last set foot on NP (: besides, it sounds fun! fun! fun! i have nothing to wear though.

honestly, im in a i-really-don't-give-a-fuck-mood. im tired, hungry, in pain and i dint ask for any of that, so i would really appreciate it if you guys don't come to me with your god damn problems, at least for tonight and tomorrow. I'll be back in service the latest by Sunday but for now, if you're gonna rant, go ahead but i don't have any advice for any of you. im terribly sorry ): kay bye.

ooh oooh! tmrw, no matter whaat, i have to start packing!

2011-03-25T01:42:00.001+08:00

"What speed do I have to live, to be able see you again?"

Episode 1: Cherry Blossom

Takaki Tōno quickly befriends Akari Shinohara when she transfers to his elementary school. They grow closer to each other due to similar interests and attitudes; for instance, they both prefer to stay inside during recess due to their seasonal allergies. As a result, they form a strong bond; they speak to each other using their given names without any form of honorifics, which is very unusual in Japan, even among people who are romantically involved. This fact is lost in the movie's translation to English and other languages, which reduces the implied closeness of their relationship.

Upon graduating from elementary school, Akari moves to Tochigi, due to her parents' jobs. The two keep in contact by writing letters, but eventually begin to drift apart. When Takaki learns that his family will be moving to Kagoshima, he decides to personally go see Akari, since they will be too far apart to visit each other at all after moving. He also prepares a letter for Akari, containing his feelings. However, during the journey he loses the letter and a severe snowstorm continuously delays Takaki's trip for several hours. As the two meet and share their first kiss, Takaki realizes they will never be together again. Stranded in a shed due to the snowstorm, they fall asleep after talking late into the night. Takaki departs the next morning, and they promise to continue writing to each other. As the train rolls away, Takaki regrets the loss of his letter, while Akari silently looks at her own letter addressed to Takaki.

will be watching episode 2 and 3 tomorrow (: beautiful movie ; 5 Centimeters Per Second.

2011-03-21T19:11:00.000+08:00

This is Hideaki Akaiwa. When the Tsunami hit his home town of Ishinomaki, Hideaki was at work. Realising his wife was trapped in their home, he ignored the advice of professionals, who told him to wait for the army to arrive to provide search and rescue.

Instead he found some scuba gear, jumped in the raging torrent - dodging cars, houses and other debris being dragged around by the powerful current, any of which could have killed him instantly - and navigated the now submerged streets in pitch dark, freezing water until he found his house. Swimming inside, he discovered his wife alive on the upper level with only a small amount of breathing room, and sharing his respirator, pulled her out to safety.

If he had waited for the army, his wife of 20 years would be dead.

Oh, and if that’s not enough badassery for one lifetime, Hideaki realised his mother was also unaccounted for, so jumped back in the water and managed to save her life also. Since then Hideaki enters the water everyday on a one man search and rescue mission, saving countless lives and proving that two natural disasters in a single day, and insurmountable odds can’t stand in the way of love. This man is my hero.

2011-03-17T19:14:00.000+08:00

i need this ^ right now.. nooooow~~ haha

flight details and itinerary for India is out, okay it was out days ago, im just excited (: and im pretty excited for tomorrow, if not scared. somehow im freaking out from the activities i kinda volunteered to do. chickening out definitely.

i want this stitch hooded jacket so bad. maybe i should take that "sponsor" offer by that very loaded someone. haha (: its £299.00. still want to pay? its gonna cost you one whole month worth of allowance. oooooh~ but then again, i think you get more than that hoh.. (: lucky guy.

2011-03-15T19:45:00.004+08:00

while everyone was busy searching for the latest news on the creator of Pokemon, i was checking out online if three of the best in MY list were affected from the disasters in Japan. Tweets and news confirmed that they are safe and sound (: so are the rest of their family members. gosh, earthquake, tsunami and volcano eruption all in a week or so. sighs.

Yoshiki will be donating his Crystal Piano to help raise funds for the victims. should have seen the video of the tsunami, pretty scary :/

okay i know the pictures aren't necessary, i just.. well reminiscing the good old J rock days.. sighs, its Kpop everywhere now ):

oh and of course he is all good too ^
maybe i should dig out all them old CDs and listen to them again. i need to search for SMAP's song again. deleted them all from my playlist :/ but look at that cute face right there ((: okay for real now, my prayers to the Japanese. dead or alive ):

2011-03-13T20:42:00.002+08:00

I've been reading this particular book by Shane Dunphy and it's so educational in so many ways. lets just say that if you're interested in child psychology, this particular book gives you a lot. i wasn't actually looking for anything in particular, i actually chanced upon this book. didn't expect it to be so damn good. most of the time, i dint even realize it's already my stop.

well see, we all know there are different versions of fairy tales from every fucking where and it has always been hard to detect the origin of each and every. go read on the Korean version of Cinderella, it's so much more interesting. I've always been interested in fairy tales, its just that I've never looked at it in a psychology way, not until i read that book.

the original version of almost all well known fairy tales have some kind of a violent almost psychotic bit of it. take for example, Hansel and Gretel, the infamous duo kidos. in the original version of it, instead of the witch trapping these children, it was just simply a "Devil". the best part is that, in our version, the evil being cared to cook Hansel up aye, in the original version the Devil place the Children on a sawhorse, and somehow, in some psychotic way wants to bleed 'em children to death. then there's Snow White, the pale freak everyone adores (: in our version we know that the witch or rather the step momma, ran away into the woods and disappeared or something like that, in the original version the queen was captured and brought to Snow White's wedding, she was forced to wear a pair of metal shoes that was already heated in the fire until red- hot and she was forced to dance as a form of ENTERTAINMENT! eventually she died of exhaustion. sick aye?

" this world has changed considerably since then. the forests that tend to be the setting for fairy tales are all but gone. so we change the stories, contriving to make them more palatable for our arrogant modern sensibilities. you can dress up the witch or the wolf in any way you wish, but their essence remains. they are predators" - Shane Dunphy

2011-03-11T23:44:00.012+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ONE AND ONLY MOMMA (: hope you enjoyed your day thoroughly, cause you deserve it ♥♥♥

2011-03-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

“Let us have a dagger between our teeth, a bomb in our hands, and an infinite scorn in our hearts”

what an interesting night. random people talking to me all at once and not a single conversation lasts more than an hour. it's so creepy though :/

i want to buy a Tamagochi so bad right now but i heard that the newer versions are all bullshit. this is NOT random at all, i just think that a virtual pet is a great idea. the restart button at the back of this damn thing is gold.

guess what i watched on WB tv just now~ THIRD WATCH! omfg.. my teenhood years. i actually cried this one day just because i dint get to watch it. i can still remember that day. damn, i was a brat. haha wait till i tell Khai, he's gonna die knowing (:

2011-03-08T23:42:00.000+08:00

Vietnamese food really sucks, im just saying. its a tad too sweet and their level of spiciness is beyond non existent, it's kinda pathetic. they use a lot of nice smelling leaves or garnishes to make up for the flavors but its like eating a bunch of leaves with a prawn or two. okay im not even explaining it good. or maybe it's that particular place. Orange Lantern's food sucks biggg time.

when can i let things go. let it go. i gotta let it go. don't go. not yet. not now.

2011-03-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

holy pumpkins!
been busy with work and workshops. sleeping lesser and lesser these days and its starting to affect a little on my work.
today marks the day i lost two important reasons to smile, lost both simultaneously. its not an abrupt thing and its definitely a process it's just that today, i realized that i can fool the world, but im not fooling my own damn self. im losing my cat and i know deep down inside that this time around its different, he's not even fighting for his life. he just stopped caring. i know that I've been trying to not think about it that way but i just know that i can't handle it, if i were to say it out loud. i wont be able to handle it. i will get over it, that's an obvious thing, but i know that I'll be a mess for a week or so. it's not the time. it really isn't.the other thing is that i can't really cry it out cause i want to smile for people, make them laugh. it doesn't have the same effect with me crying now does it. help me out.
know what it feels like? it feels like you're telling your own god damn self that you're losing your best-friend to aids or some terminal diseases, something you can't do shit about, you know he's in pain but you cant do shit. that's exactly how it feels like. and the treatment cost if any is too fucking expensive.
and i wish right now, i can call you up and tell you how much it sucks. but i guess you're gone too.
kinda want to call my buddies up, i know they would probably come here to console me or whatever but i thing they have done enough. more than enough. i just pray to god every single day i wake up the same thing over and over; don't take anything or anyone away from me, no more, not a single soul. cause im hanging in there, im really trying.
gotta mark some composition papers now. and i pray to god that i can sleep tonight. big day tomorrow..

2011-03-02T20:00:00.004+08:00

Falling a thousand feet per second

You still take me by surprise

I just know we can't be over

I can see it in your eyes

Making every kind of silence

Takes a lot to realize

It's worse to finish than to start all over

And never let it lie

And as long as I can feel you holding on

I won't fall

Even if you said I was wrong

When you're caught in a lie

And you've got nothing to hide

When you've got nowhere to run

And you've got nothing inside

It tears right through me

You thought that you knew me

You thought that you knew

i dint prepare myself for this. i dint expect this at all, should have known better.. maybe it was just great fun to you. laughing out loud. :/ I'll leave it at that.

i still want to believe that the man i ~~knew~~ know is a very nice guy. i still want to believe that i trusted the right person. i still do want to believe that i opened up to a man i can rely on. maybe im right this time around. after all these while, maybe, just maybe im right.

transformers 3 coming out sooner than expected, everyone's talking about it :D watched the trailer just now, pretty dope.

2011-02-27T23:39:00.003+08:00

hectic day yesterday ): went to the clinic to take my blood test result early in the morning, and i got lost in woodlands, cause the bloody clinic is in the middle of nowhere. took 10 minutes just to get there.. i was panting by the time i reached. i was just about to celebrate when i realized that i dint know my way back to the MRT. bloody creep ): spent another 10 more minutes in trying to find my way out.. by the time i got there i was already late for work. rushed like mad to work and did shelving for 4 hours straight. damn the supervisor! done with work, i was so ready to go home and relax. the moment i reached my front door i broke down cause i forgot my key. ha ha bloody ha. went back to work to get the keys from mom and slept in the MRT for a bit cause i was so darn tired. thumbs up aye?

2011-02-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

im having break outs like nobody business.
not that i care much, its just very much annoying. reminiscing those days, smooth skin, no make up needed, real carefree (:
tomorrow is gonna be the end of everything. i hope everything will go smoothly. one step at a time.. ma, stay strong okay!
now see, another night.. great JJ just great.. -.-"

2011-02-17T15:25:00.002+08:00

I want to say something, anything, but nothing’s coming out. No matter how hard i try to find the right words. When im lying in bed, so tired but i can’t sleep. So i just have to lie there, and wait for the tears to come out, but its not coming out already cause my body is just too fucking tired of caving in, of complying to my needs to feel better. so i lay awake in bed last night, staring at the fucking ceiling. counting the hours left to sleep. checking the time on my phone. but it took forever to strike 6.59am. waiting for that alarm to ring. reading your previous texts made me laugh on my own. our conversations were always so silly. even smileys became a war conversation, until either of us succumbed. i fell asleep somewhere in between.. 3am in the morning perhaps, or maybe 4am. i wasn't too sure, it doesn't matter anyways.

tired, im so fucking tired. physically and mentally very very tired. tired of being so afraid of every single thing. afraid of disappointing my family. afraid of losing any one of them. afraid of failing every single module. afraid of losing my friends over something stupid. afraid of unnecessary fights.. afraid of losing you. so very afraid of losing someone i care so much for. if its possible, i want to ask you every single day for the rest of my life. have you eaten? are you fine? have you studied? i want to tell you every single day to be happy, to smile a lot, to stay healthy and be fine. but im so tired. trying every single time is very very tiring. waiting is tiring. wanting something for another person is very very very tiring.

so many things i wanted to do with you before the two trips. thinking about it makes me sad. i would trade so many things to do random stuff with you. someone pointed out before that i need to take a breather. a long break away from all these, all i could think of was, that was my break. cause when you're being all funny and random, i forget about everything else. that's my break. you're my break from everything. isn't that what a break is all about? to allow you to forget about all the shit you don't want to feel. all the bullshitting hard work from school. from the fake laughter around you. from the fake faces you see and smile at every single day in school. cause its all politics every fucking where. survival of the fittest. shut up and you lose, open up your mouth and you still lose.

im gradually losing everything in my life. slowly but i can feel it happening. cause you know what they say, nothing last forever. but I'll tell you the truth, I've never met anyone quite like you in my whole entire life. well at least not of the opposite sex. someone i don't have to pretend or act cool in front of. no one quite like you.

2011-02-16T21:11:00.002+08:00

2011-02-16T19:01:00.000+08:00

A234-2-W54G-B : Problem 15 - A

A251-3-W54G-B : Problem 15 - A

A301-4-W54G-B : Problem 15 - A

A232-8-W54G-B : Problem 15 - A

A204-1-W54G-B : Problem 15 - X

HAHAHAHA was competing with a friend over this.. hey you lose the bet, dude. one absent not counted right? there. told you Aliza loves me. coffee for the rest of my RP life on you. (:

the only good thing today.. ... thank you thank you grades. you've made it a bearable day. first genuine smile because of you. and you're not even alive.

2011-02-15T12:08:00.000+08:00

we talk a little less everyday.
and i just hope you know, that if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true. cause the hardest part of this, is leaving you.

2011-02-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

nice. what a nice nice day. can you sense the sarcasm?

2011-02-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

done with both genetics and anatomy, finally (:

what an interesting day at work indeed. a couple of guys approached me to ask about cookery books, one even went all out to explain that he's cooking for his girlfriend this coming valentines. i didn't even mind helping him find a good book. people in love makes me smile smile smile ♥

gonna be lifeless till the 21st. sucks to be us ): but its okay, im looking forward to the trip to Langkawi and India!

2011-02-10T23:04:00.000+08:00

i think i have insomnia. i really do ):

been having trouble sleeping and i hate the fact that i don't know whats wrong. i don't mind the fact that i fell so darn tired but i just can't shut this darn eyes, the thing is i babble a lot of bullshit and then i sing out loud all the freaking time. the worst part is that im aware of doing it, but i just cant stop.. like bla bla bla blaaaa~

what the hell happened to Enrique Iglesias anyways, it seems like someone kidnapped the original Enrique and placed a dancy phony guy instead. >: [ i miss the sexy guy who serenaded, Hero... the real deal, sighs.

the half an hour meeting during lunch with my advisor and committee members left me swearing the rest of the day. apparently my advisor listed down her preference for the new committee member and she actually elected me as the President. ... ..... is that Aunty for real? trying to list down the pros and cons and apparently they both level out. commitment vs great reflection for my resume.

its 11 pm now, and im soo darn tired. but im not sleepy.. i wish i have someone to talk to, at least till i fall asleep. ohh that reminds me..

it seems like a long time since we last had a proper conversation or meet up or dinner or something.. something, anything.. sighs, but its okay, you're tired, i get it (:

2011-02-09T21:29:00.002+08:00

2011-02-08T11:20:00.000+08:00

kroegering :you remind me a lot of Holden Caulfield [Google if you must]. you're quirky that way. okay if you think its an insult, it's not.. okay.. i should just shut up.

DeathMayDie :This is the absolute number one best compliment I have ever received on tumblr, I love The Catcher in The Rye so much

AAAAAAAAAAH~~~~~~ ((:

2011-02-07T22:08:00.000+08:00

its depressing as hell watching the television nowadays, especially the news, riots here and there. and then when it's advertisement time we have those quit gambling bull ass.. how ironic, dint hear them complaining about it before the IR idea came about.. might as well hold up a "no Singaporean" rule there right? besides, the main idea behind the bloody IR was to attract foreigners, but i heard that because of their rules and stuff, even the foreigners find the place a turn off. ha ha bloody ha!

okay i've been following this particular guy on tumblr for quite some time. eccentric. that's the only word to describe him. he's so goddamn hilarious and smart as hell. he called an otter a fish recently for the fun of it, and a bunch of girls lectured him on the fact that an otter isn't a fish. some even called him dumb and stuff. i mean if you really know him, its pretty funny really. why am i rambling about him.

2011-02-01T22:42:00.000+08:00

heyy (: happy February to all. it's supposed to be a good month, neh it has to be.. look at the weather, its beautiful (: okay not so beautiful for any bikers out there horh.. but walking in the rain is lovely. so i must say that im loving the weather.

im just trying to look at things differently. no one is forcing me to, im just trying my best to smile at everything. anything small, anything at all. maybe what i need is to just get away from everyone. everyone who expects too darn much from me.

funny, how much you want others to be happy. to stay happy, that you start to neglect your own damn self. neglect my own self? who am i kidding. so many things in this mind of mine. maybe its true what JJ said. the heaven IS crying. that's why it's been raining so heavily.

these past few weeks, it has been pretty tiring. i realized that i dint even talk much to the people i love, its like im living in my own world, trying to think of ways to make others happy. ha ha bloody ha, no. more like i was thinking of their problems, not the solution. i swear i can stone for hours thinking. im so fucking lame.

ooh one thing. my anti depressant. the book " The Catcher in the Rye ". im in love, deeply in love (: Holden Caulfield. you're amazing. but then again, all fictional characters are.

2011-02-01T21:55:00.000+08:00

you make my teeth clinch and my hands shake

do you ever see what you do to me?

you’re wearing me out, just wearing me out

but i’m wearing you down

you’re impossible but lovely

so impossible to win or please

i’m wearing you out, just wearing you out

but i’m wearing you down

take what you want from me, it means nothing now

take everything from me, it means nothing now

not so easy to forgive, harder to forget

take what you want

i’m impossible to figure out

so impossible, you had your doubts

2011-01-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

as soon as i closed my eyes, sadness overwhelms me. no actually i don't even have to close these eyes, it overwhelms me whenever im alone, whenever im not distracted by something. why does it affect me so much, to be misunderstood that way, whatever happens to the old me who wont care shit what others think of me.

im trying to understand, trying to figure out where i go wrong, trying to figure out my mistake. but i have no idea, and i wish you would tell me so at least i can say sorry. couldn't sleep last night cause of this shit ):

dearest JJ, happy working, i shall sleep now, cause i need to escape from this tiring world. tiring tiring world. take care of yourself, and be home safe and sound okay (: kiss your sexy bike for me (:

2011-01-26T22:03:00.002+08:00

2011-01-26T22:01:00.000+08:00

i am happy that you're happy ((: its good to see you all smiley again ((:

tomorrow is gonna be one of those silly shitty day again. im starting to hate going to school.. all these shitty people i have to deal with every single day. okay no, im the shitty one.

2011-01-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

are we drifting apart? cause of the things we choose to keep inside or maybe of the unspoken words. it seems like i spend most of my time wondering, trying to distract myself from whats unknown. or just basically spending time thinking of ways to cheer you up. ha ha bloody ha, what did i do at the end of the day? NOTHING. cause im lame like that, dint know what to do and how to cheer up.

you see that's the problem. i spent the whole day today and almost everyday for the past few weeks thinking of ways to cheer people up. a lot of people. the assbutt part of it is the fact that i dint carry it out.

what the fuck was today anyways. cant even recognize myself, what a fake ass laughing at silly lame jokes. faking laughter itself, faking the smiles. faking my life.

2011-01-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard

Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see

these scars

I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel

But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe

this is real

So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do

Face away and pretend that I'm not

But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident

Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make

sense

I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt

It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear

me out

So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do

Face away and pretend that I'm not

But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got

2011-01-21T21:44:00.001+08:00

i cant thank you enough (: don't really want to eat it cause its so pretty pretty in a box with golden ribbons (: feels like my birthday, receiving random gifts like this ((:

2011-01-20T12:39:00.000+08:00

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?

Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?

When they know they're your heart

And you know you were their armour

And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm them

But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?

And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?

What happens when you become the main source of their pain?

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn

Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice

Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling

And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain

Just smile back.

2011-01-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

dearest LJJ.

please dont be sad, everything will be fine (: please cheer up okay, i will treat you bubble tea and salads and whatever else you want..

2011-01-19T23:09:00.000+08:00

2011-01-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,

Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it

where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

2011-01-17T09:36:00.015+08:00

oh hi. should have blogged about this on friday (: mom bought a box of cupcakes on friday and they have fresh cream on it (: i dont even need dinner with them by my side. haha

sighs i dunno why there's so many things in my mind now. whats with the FYP team and project selection not settled yet. and with that person i dont know how to handle. i really dont know how to handle you every time you hint such things. i dont know what to say back to you. sighs, you should really just give it up, im not worth it horh.. the other thing is money, im really worried about money, but thanks Feeqs for that special reminder, that He has got a great plan for us all.

wow that was real venting horh (: lab management UT tomorrow, told Huda i studied but honestly, i glanced through the 6Ps.

2011-01-13T22:52:00.005+08:00

oh hi.

~~i love my life, goodnight and go sleep.~~

~~i love my cat and goodnight.~~

~~i love mom and goodnight.~~

~~i am going to sleep.~~

~~tomorrow got UT sleep.~~

~~i sleep soon.~~

~~me sleep.~~

SLEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!

.

2011-01-12T14:50:00.000+08:00

mind choked. if there's one thing i hate in this whole wide world, its someone staring at me. i don't even hate smokers, okay it has nothing to do with shit hoh?

i just hate standing there wanting to talk to you and someone stares at me like im some big fuck. assfuck do i look like i care how i look? just stop making me look like im a fucking desperate ass clinging on to him. gosh. what are you, his bodyguard? or maybe i should just forget about approaching you in the future. just fucking walk straight and lets just pretend we don't know each other.

im extremely tired. mentally tired. tired for trying. tired for caring. tired of thinking. extremely tired of thinking.

don't even have the appetite to eat. bought bread to feed the birds at Sembawang, perhaps. i want to go home, put my head under the pillows and disappear. fucking disappear. okay the more i type, the more i feel like crying. fuck PMS-ing. fuck cramps.

): hate this post.

2011-01-11T23:02:00.000+08:00

hello hello (: im pleased to inform myself that im done with genetics and can now focus on neurobiology. Test in two days straight, that's beyond sick aye.

mi went out for a much deserved break with her friends yesterday. they went to the Orchid Garden and then to the cinemas to watch Guillever's Travel. adorable hohhh ((: so nice to know that she enjoyed herself(: she even bought me two charmed bracelets, they are gorgeou, i cant thank her enough..

i cannot believe im done with genetics, seriously. i was stressing on it just a few minutes ago ): plus the modules are getting tougher. haiyoo, duuuuh moment. we are ending our semester soon and i have mixed feelings about it. its like i want it to end but i don't. tssk, whats the future gonna be like, i wonder.

i have a lot of things in my mind tonight, i mean a lot. for example there's this particular one thing i wonder. who my real friends are.. i mean, have you ever wondered who will stick by you through everything and who would walk away from you the moment their lives changed? who's willing to do the things you're willing to do for them?

there's no such test for those kinda things, i guess only time can tell. heh ((:

2011-01-09T19:11:00.002+08:00

Your promises, they look like lies

Your honesty, like a back that hides a knife

2011-01-08T20:41:00.000+08:00

Behind those eyes lies the truth and grief.

Behind those beautiful smiles I've seen tragedy.

Beyond these clouds you can hide all your tear.

Beyond this world you'll be safe from their wicked fears.

And in their hearts they fear your demands.

You know their minds won't accept you, they'll never understand.

2011-01-07T23:07:00.000+08:00

ooooh.

im supposed to be studying, with genetics and neurobio one after another but im stoning instead. browsing through tumblr like a mad goose, and not even reblogging anything. im a lame ass, im supposed to revive this blog not kill it.

forget it.

2011-01-04T21:29:00.000+08:00

A picture began circulating in November. It should be “The Picture of the Year,”… or perhaps, “Picture of the Decade.” It won’t be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the U.S. paper which published it, you probably would never have seen it.

The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner. The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive if removed from his mother’s womb. Little Samuel’s mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta. She knew of Dr. Bruner’s remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.

During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon’s finger. Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.

The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity. The editors titled the picture, “Hand of Hope.” The text explaining the picture begins, “The tiny hand of 21-week-old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother’s uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life.”

Little Samuel’s mother said they “wept for days” when they saw the picture. She said, “The photo reminds us pregnancy isn’t about disability or an illness, it’s about a little person” Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 percent successful. Now see the actual picture, and it is awesome…incredible….and hey, pass it on! The world needs to see this one.

2010-12-30T17:43:00.000+08:00

JJ and I went to the science centre yesterday and by the end of the trip we were both pretty exhausted (or was it just me? :/) thank god we dint include that CSI exhibition. or we would have missed the highlight of the whole trip. the kid, who banged hard on the glass door. he broke his front tooth. it was pretty bad im telling you ): there's a lot of lame stuff there, but im telling you there are some pretty cool stuff too. the maths corner however... that there, is a huge NO!

after that went to jurong point for dinner. walked around a bit then went home (: that huge white bear. should have rescued that thing. that thing with the ): face. but at the end of the day, it was a pretty fun day(: just because.. (:

2010-12-28T16:17:00.002+08:00

A girlfriend asked me to fill this up, i don't know why but im doing it anyways, just so okay, just so. >:[ sighs here we go~

ON THE OUTSIDE.

Name: Nurul Fatin Binte Omar

Birth Date: 17 July 1991

Current Location: Singapore

Hair Color: Jet Black.

Righty/Lefty: Right, like all normal people.

ON THE INSIDE.

Your fear: The future, always.

Your dream of the perfect date: haaah~ as long as im with the one, even digging sand sounds fun.

Goals you’d like to achieve: giving my mom the life she can truly enjoy, the easy life.

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW.

Your thoughts first waking up: Check phone for time and texts

Your bed time: mostly i fall asleep doing something

Your most missed memory: honestly those days back in secondary school, i cant name a single day.

YOUR PICK.

Pepsi or Coke: actually none, but i would rather, coke.

McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonalds.defo.

Single or Group Dates: Single.

Adidas or Nike: NEITHER.

Boots or Pumps: BOOTS. always.

Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla(:

Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee. actually i don't mind either.

DO YOU.

Smoke: im smokinng hawt. okay, no.

Cuss: like a train

Take showers: im a clean freak.

Have a crush: just for the fun of it. JUST FOR FUN.

Like school: Love school. whiteee liessss~

Believe what goes around comes around: like a boomerang.

Believe everything happens for a reason: EVERY SINGLE THING.

Think you’re a health freak: clean freak, never a health freak. dude, you can eat an apple a day, not smoke and die of cancer. wake the hell up.

IN THE PAST MONTH.

Gone to the mall: uh huh.

Been on stage: to sing for my cat? uh huh.

Eaten sushi: im allergic to sushi.

Been hurt: emotionally.

Dyed your hair: will never.

HAVE YOU EVER.

Played a stripping game: No.

Kissed the same sex: on the cheeks?

Gotten beaten up: with a brother like mine, who dares?

Changed who you were to fit in: We all do this, every minute of every day.

GETTING OLD.

Age you’re hoping to be married by: 67, good?

Number of kids you’re planning on having: 10, good?

IN A GIRL/GUY.

Best eye color: hazel/brown

Hair color: au naturel

Short or long hair: Neat

Fat or fit: Who the heck am i to say?

Looks or personality: Personality DEFO.

Fun or serious: fun and serious.haaah~

WHAT WERE YOU DOING.

1 minute ago: i was thinking of a good age to get married.

1 hour ago: on the phone convincing. * it's not beng like, i swear*

1 week ago: which day?

1 year ago: which hour?

FINISH THE SENTENCE.

I feel: blessed.

I hate: Uncertainty.

I hide: my true self, my feelings so that others wont get hurt.

I need: someone to tell me, everything will be okay.

I love: competitions. kay that's pretty random.

2010-12-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

2010-12-20T22:31:00.001+08:00

^ that's how im gonna look like sleeping tonight. ~~Yay to the awesome time today(: thank you thank you LJJ((:~~ had an awesome time and err the movie sucks. ((: *is this better Mr Lim Jing Jie?*

and yay to meeting PP requirements. yay to great UT results ((:

2010-12-16T23:27:00.000+08:00

it was you who picked the pieces up, when i was a broken soul and then glued me back together, returned to me what others stole.

2010-12-15T20:37:00.002+08:00

2010-12-14T22:35:00.000+08:00

so while im typing out this post im really hoping that she's not reading it cause im beyond terrified of her level of mental saneness. okay sane should never be near her name. she stalks and talks to me all the freaking time with different stories about how she's depressed about EVERYTHING. i mean im willing to help but first she's in the hospital then she's not, then she's suffering from some life threatening disease then she's almost killing herself then now she's madly in love. HELP. okay get these right, first of all i don't know her well, we were only classmates for i dunno two modules? secondly i think i was pretty right out on not liking her. she's so panicky WHO THE HELL LIKES HER. then recently she started to say that she misses me and stuff and i was like ooookaaaay~ so i thought "oooh heeeey, oh yaaah.." i thought that its a random thing and now these! omg should i say it straight to her face that she's so freaking annoying? what if she kills herself? :[

sighs, i think im really going mad. im having the worst mood swing ever. know whats the annoying part? i know who im taking it out on. okay i don't know it at that point of time, but its like when i think about it all i can think of is "oooh god, please don't tell me im doing it again..":(

im sorry, for being so moody and annoying and irritating. i can't control it and the fact that you've been so freaking patient is very very.. well it makes me feel so bad its eating me inside. i promise you today's the last.. cause you're too lovable (: you're amazing.

2010-12-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

just done with my PP shit and im gonna send it for printing tomorrow, cant wait to see it in poster form. looks pretty funny to me like its a bit slanted and picture heavy on one side. sighs will upload the picture if i have the time. Saturday's presentation day! and after that movie time with all those 18th batch (:

okay i need someone who can constantly remind me to not curse people, cause whenever i curse someone that thing really happen >:[ kay see i don't want it but when someone upsets me terribly, and i curse that something bad happens to them, it really does! okay recently, okay no, this semester, "someone" annoyed the hell out of me, and i kept cursing that he crash his bike or skid, AND HE DID. you might think its funny, but its not the first time and its defo not the last, i shan't talk about the aunty or my manager. im not saying that i have super powers or anything, i know coincidence happens, but im just saying someone needs to constantly remind me not to. just.in.case.

great day today, will talk about it tomorrow or something, im tired. and to K, thank you for being honest and all straightforward, sorry i laughed it off, my mind was a bit busy on someone else. besides, you don't know me that well (:

2010-12-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

i like coffee sessions with Huda. it's so comforting talking to someone who can already read me inside out. if only we can do that everyday, but then again, it wont be as special (:

here's what i think. no one have to choose to spend time with anybody. one can have many close friends and continue to stay as close friends even without spending much time together. it shouldn't be about choices, cause having to choose between friends, well that sucks. just because two individuals don't meet doesn't mean they cant stay as close friends right?

you're always welcome whenever wherever, it was never an issue and it will never be an issue.

all these reminds me of Atikah :( i miss you. see, she's my awesome buddy and we are damn close, we meet once in a blue holiday but we are still close like ever. friends should be able to pick things up straight away.

2010-12-08T23:26:00.001+08:00

❥ you're one in a zillion. one in a hundred zillion. the only one in the whole wide world. And i appreciate it, everything :)

2010-12-06T20:08:00.000+08:00

a small gesture that made me smile the whole day in school today :) thank you for the treat Lim Jing Jie, very sweet of you. oh and a little someone make an origami heart with the extra extra straws you took. that extraaa extraaaa~ :)

went home pretty early today and there's no housework to do >: [ ma did everything before leaving for work, donch like it :( she should have spent the extra time resting. sighs, mothers. now i really don't have anything to do. how i wish im working right now. that's definitely something to do. maybe i should start on my PP poster. fill those boxes. okay maybe tomorrow.

there's this really noob song im in love with, i cant believe how noob it is. with the lame video. but its a really really nice song. so im not the only one who thinks so.apparently Khai even watched the LIVE version. its so funny though (:

WATCH (:

2010-12-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

A234-2-W54G-B : Problem 7 - B

A251-3-W54G-B : Problem 7 - A

A301-4-W54G-B : Problem 7 - A

A232-8-W54G-B : Problem 7 - A

A204-1-W54G-B : Problem 7 - B

i swear the grades is the only thing that keeps me going. i don't earn it from being smart, i earn it from ACTING smart, i swear. at the end of the day i always forget what i learned before. i nod to everything like i understand shit but i have no idea what the hell i was nodding to. i feel bad about the fact that people are investing money for me to study but im nowhere near where i should be, i guess im typing this out cause im feeling shitty, im pretty sure I'll regret this post. but whatever.

started the day feeling like shit cause of all the fees and stuff. went for lab wearing sandals and i swear i saw my faci looking down at my feet, but i was looking like -.-" so she dint say anything :] .. holy schmoozers. went to break early with a bunch of my classmates plus Huda and Airin, supposed to be a twosome but oh wells, enjoyed myself still. they were talking about forming cliques in the class and how annoying things are. dint have much to say so i kept quiet throughout, those guys are darn funny though :]

there's this someone i know who's interested in joining Singapore's very own Disaster Assistance and Rescue Team (DART) and its not even for the money or fame.. to help.. to help with all the rescuing. that's just awesome i think. i just want to point out my respect. cause my bro used to tell me about their trainings and how severe things can get. but this person wants it so bad i can see it in his eyes when he said it. sighs.

Lim Jing Jie :) happy working till 3 a.m. and im really fine :)

2010-12-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

my internet's such a bitch. so much for wireless fit for an office of 20 people >:[ starhub and their scams. forever digging shit out of people. well anyways, i thought that i was gonna go mad over-analyzing my day today, but i guess what Lisa and Aiman said makes sense :] i WAS thinking too much :] am i too free? that i kinda think too much all the time? time to find a job for the weekdays!

orrh and im going fishing this saturdaay :] its gonna be my first time. donch.LAUGH. i heard that its pretty boring, but im going with a bunch of retards. should be okay hoh? its so nice to be free of everything, okay i shan't talk about the PP poster >:[

2010-11-30T23:07:00.000+08:00

guess what?

"caffeine is often referred to as the substance that helps you stay awake and provides stimulation to the body. The stimulation of the central nervous system may lead to the body's inability to rejuvenate when at rest. In women, the unwanted symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) may increase."

you must be kidding me. i felt so much better after the two cups of coffee just now, so im really questioning the credibility of that site >:[ i know i drove my classmates nuts just now. i couldn't shut the hell up and i almost laugh during UT cause i was having one of those laughing gas moment. but lets just say the class was celebrating after UT. now i need to focus on my poster. i know its damn early and i might have Eric Chua as my accessor, i think that's pretty awesome.

went back with the usuals just now along with Agnes and Marilou, it was dope running in the rain. yes, im kidding -.-" by the time i reached home i was soaking wet. damn the Sembawang MP, no shelter. dang it.

WATCH :)

2010-11-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

am i PMSing? am i moody? :( i thought everything's okay, at least on my side. but im definitely feeling the.. sighs. im defo PMSing. but how can i call it PMSing when im happy any other time im occupied with stuff? i don't even know how to feel. its like a routine anyways. when a girl is PMSing i guess she's as delicate as a feather. brush her the wrong way and she's pretty much broken. see im defo PMSing, im listening to Creep by Radiohead and pretty much tearing up. capital eff :(

i should really just sleep it off. hopefully we are not changing teams, i wanna be with Airin so we can talk longer and be freaking retarded together. :( ergh. bye world.

2010-11-27T23:48:00.001+08:00

what a nice yesternight and what a nice day today.

work was okay, glad to know that ever since that incident, someone's kinda afraid of me, bully my friends and I'll fucking stuff vulgarities up your ass. okay pardon me, this is supposed to be a happy post :]

went to get some stuff with sis right after work today, then out of the blues sis asked if i would like to get henna done. i guess we were both bored. i was pretty tired from work but for henna's sake i seriously don't mind :]

initially i thought of doing on only one hand, but the lady said that its kinda weird to do it on one hand, and that she will come up with her own design on the other hand. so there you go :] it was pretty funny walking around tekka with that, we were waiting for it to dry so went in this Mustaffa Centre wannabe, just for the air con, and those Indians were pretty much amused.

as for yesternight, well lets just say its nice to know that a new friend shares everything in common with you. seriously, and thank you for introducing me to that deadly jellyfish, you jellyfish murderer :]

❥ thanks sis for today

2010-11-19T23:01:00.001+08:00

All I want now is to be with you

Cause you know I've been everywhere else

Fighting my way back to where you are

The only place I ever felt at home

And it's you and me and all other people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

lets see, where shall i start. i finally got my book " never let me go" by Kazuo Ighiguro from the Paramedic of the class ( I KNOW RIGHT! SO FREAKING COOL!!! PARAMEDIC EEH, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ONE! ) after much delay. kay enough about the owner, this book is damn good im telling you. the whole idea is just so weird and sad. i really want to read it through the night but since im working tomorrow, i guess i cant. i haven't even touch on neurobiology. zilch! and there's dikir competition this Sunday :( dont think i can make it.. need to do much.

damn emo after school today, cause of the damn UT. emo in school, after school, going to school, emo at home, emo before sleep, emo when i wake up tomorrow. LOLOLOL!
( NOTE TO SELF: LET IT GO, LET EVERYTHING GO, CAUSE ITS NOT WORTH IT. AND WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER SOMETHING THAT FUCKETY, YOU SHOULD KEEP TO YOUR SELF AND FUCKING ENDURE. FUCK TRYING AND FUCK BEING NICE.)

finally meeting amandaaaaa after so long :) i cant wait! bert, be nice, you bully me, i punch i swear.

[ MY DEAR BENG WHO'LL BE WORKING TILL 3 AM IN THE MORNING. HAPPY WORKING :] AND I STILL WANT YOU TO TRY TO WAKE UP EARLY ON MONDAY. P-L-E-A-S-E. ]

2010-11-12T23:49:00.001+08:00

okay great im back on track, grades wise and i guess everything else? :] im loving genetics and lab management!

there's one problem though. that hell of a faci for medical technology. THE HORROR im telling you. i cant believe she gave me a B after everything, the huge argument in class. LOL, assbutt. at the end of the day, no matter how horrible things are, school is so much better than work. to a certain extend though. gotta get going on genetics revision cause i kinda have a feeling i screwed my A&P. i took my time doing the MCQs and you know that crappy feeling when you see the 4 marks question and you only have urmmm 15 seconds left? well anyways, neuro was fairly fun just now, i found my fellow retard in class. DURGES, she's so retarded! we were both laughing our ass off throughout neuro today. fun day indeed :]

everyone i care about is sick. Ma, Kittycat and even Mr Lim >:[ sighs, get well soon you lovely bunch.

2010-11-10T23:38:00.000+08:00

guide every single day. keep us close to you.

2010-11-09T23:31:00.000+08:00

i was hyper the whole day today until....

well anyways i couldn't keep my mouth shut >:[ i don't really know what was it seriously. skittles maybe? coffeee?

went to the Replug Concert after school today. dint know we have such talented singers. and may i say that our drummers are damn entertaining :] i really like Ahmad Husayn's time on the drums. he really enjoyed himself! i guess the only noob thing is the fact that there wasn't any reception in the theater >:[ so.... yknow. and that singer who sang Stevie's song. DON'T EVEN!

now im :[ shall not talk about it.

Mr Lim, can you not call me Nurul?

2010-11-09T00:03:00.000+08:00

school was pretty shit just now. i guess cause i was late and its medical technology today. it was pretty hellish. the faci was such an ass, if i get a C for this class, im gonna freaking slap her short self. i mean SLAP her HARD.

but i guess the rest of the day was okay :] laughing gas like mad now. sis is trying to find my BB receipt and she's digging through EVERYTHING. she's like a mad woman and its hilarious. oh oh and someone [thaaaat someone] took the wrong train home with a flat MP3 emoing like mad. hooh~ HAHAHAHAHA okay luuh sorry luuh not funny :]

its midnight now. should sleep. goodnight love :]

2010-11-06T14:37:00.000+08:00

Overthinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, turns things around, makes you worry, and just make things worse than it actually is.

chop chopped my hair to super short. oh my god, you have no idea how short it is. regret? hrmmmm~ its my first time in that shop getting my hair cut by Kiki's hairstylist, instead of my thai ex boyfriend :( its so unfair that just cause he got married he cant work there anymoreee~ well anyways, i dint have anything in mind so this Pauline lady chop chopped it away. okay so its like a bob but its a slanted kinda bob and longer. and with that fringe, the slanted fringe. its a fringe that covers my left eye and poke it as and when i bend down to pick something cause its a long fringe and its driving me nuts. okay neh, i love my hair.

went to keerthu's house yesterday for Deepaaaavali~ honestly i dint think it was gonna be that fun. i guess cause she's not really that traditional. i mean you know i kinda think she's more modernized. we do everything in excess yesterday, we ate a little too much, laugh a little too much, criticized each other's race a little too much. cause its like a racial harmony celebration. two Malays, me and Lisa, two Chinese, and Keerthana + FAMILY.

sighs.

2010-11-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

what a random photo. i have a couple of things in mind i want to blog about, and i don't really know where to start. lets start with something a bit nicer. yes?

my uncle recently commented that my mammy looks a bit on the plump side and my aunt said that its actually a good thing, that my ma is probably happier now. so i asked ma if she's really happy, even with all the stuff that's happening now, and she said that she is. that she has got the three of us all and she's happy. im glad :]

okay that's all actually. but :D

someone is starting to suck big time. she said that im such a big flirt. right! when i like only one person -.-" that one person okay, I FREAKING LIKE ONLY ONE GUY. why would i want to waste time with someone i don't even like. gosh!

oh i dint know stalking a gay is considered flirting. and its not like i stalk his facebook or whatever, i just see him a lot in school and i squeal when i see him like a mad fuck cause cause cause.. i don't know ITS FUN. and I DONT EVEN LIKE HIM, would you like me to bold this? do you actually think im that sick? even if he's not gay, i wont like him!

liking a Chinese guy isn''t against the religion you ignorant ass shit. its not like i hug or smooch or whatever him okay. OH MY GOD you are such an ass. you don't even know me that well to assume okay. oh and i know it looks like im mad or whatever, but really im not, im just a bit hyper, and dealing with ass shits like you is just undeniably amusing.

okay goodnight. i know you'll read this so im waiting for your pathetic reply.

2010-11-02T22:14:00.000+08:00

at the end of the day, you'll die alone right?

well anyways. i cannot believe it. guys seriously like girls with braces. i mean for real? i dint expect it though. okaaay so i asked 6 guys. i know the amount is pathetic but heeey they all said yes okay. even even even even eveeeen HIM. >:[ pfft. EVEN YOUUUU! omg and i thought you're one in a zillion >:[

Airin is getting one soon, im excited for her but she's all nervous, thus the survey -.-" im a lame ass. it will look good on her i bet, everything looks good on someone like her, right? be happy, girl. i just want all my friends to be happy, no more misunderstandings and such? is that possible?

2010-10-29T22:53:00.000+08:00

ain't that the most beautiful ring ever? Rustic Distressed Sterling Abalone Ring. its CHEAP! okay i mean its affordable :] its US$35 i think. definitely my future wedding ring. haha cheapskate i know. diamonds don't really wow me. im probably not a girl. i wouldn't want a diamond ring. its so typical and lame. HAAH, right! no freaking way am i getting married. one day when im a qualified lab technician or whatever, im gonna start saving for something like this. something a bit more expensive. something worth dying for.

guess how much is this one? US$10!! :[ Hammered Aluminum Spiral Ring. another favourite! :[ :[ :[ :[

there's this website "tinahdee" and those rings are amaaazing! :] sighs. one day.

2010-10-28T22:18:00.000+08:00

great. i got a C for medical tech just cause while i was presenting, i kept turning to the facilitator. gee thanks. i mean no one cares about the same old shit right, everyone was busy chatting their ass away so why bother. chibster. I HATE MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY.

oh and that chibster supervisor, wont let me take an off day for studying. dang it. put me night shift some more :[ hopefully all the fun people are working night shift. gosh i hate that Indian. no im not racist de liao lor. she IS indian -.-"

and that mofo. of all days, he must come back home today. TODAY. of all days. why cant he come back home on a happier day? like maybe NEVER is good too. why bother coming back? >:[ gosh i might kill something tonight.

oh and that bloody HDB people. how many times you guys want us to appeal. dang it. want me to cry in front of your building not? naaaaaabei.

im not looking forward to Monday. lab management talks about animal testing :[ i dont think i can take it :[ helping Clem do his RJ now, hilarious! its a nice RJ question actually, but that someone's complaining and swearing a whole lot. " Ethics and regulations may guide but business drives what companies may do or say to sell their products. Comment on this based on what you learnt today. " NICE RIGHT? so much to say!

better than mine, " based on your own personal experiences, illustrate your understanding of the autonomic nervous system" SLOW MUCH! zzzzz. i actually talked about those two delivery boys i saw that day. one of the boys got chased by a huge dog! :]

2010-10-27T22:10:00.001+08:00

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes

I don't really know how this is gonna look like on the net but currently I donch care.. Lisa is suffering from urinary tract infection.. I guess its like my mum's but her's isn't that bad I think.. Sighs.. I'm a tiny bit worried.. But nevertheless, thank god she managed to stay long enough to celebrate DANI's BELATED BDAY! :D so we bought donuts and candles.. Which's pretty lame and retarded but he likes it so I guess yippee?

Should I wait up for glee? Or should I sleep? But its like only 10, which means that my autobodyclock will wake me up at around 4? Latest 4 I think.. And that's not nice at all. I might spam someone's wall again :[ yayness feeqah's fetching tomorrow :] eggciting!

Lim Jing Jie! Where are you?

2010-10-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

i really want that ring. the leopard one :[ and its in GOLD. i want :[ okay so apparently my temperature is getting higher and higher and i don't feel a thing. okay liar, i just feel a tiny bit heaty that's all. PLAIN WATER SHALL DO THE TRICK HOH?

oh that reminds me. i hate my ________ supervisor. what an ass. but I SHALL NOT QUIT my job cause of you. cause you're a piece of old fugly crap. no one likes you, know what that means? YOU'RE PATHETIC. hate you.

watching OKTO now, about Sirenomelia ( mermaid syndrome ).

sad :[

a very rare congenital deformity in which the legs are fused together, giving them the appearance of a mermaid's tail. it is usually fatal within a day or two of birth because of complications associated with abnormal kidney and urinary bladder development and function. More than half the cases of sirenomelia result in stillbirth and this condition is 100 times more likely to occur in identical twins than in single births or fraternal twins - wiki duhh.

2010-10-22T16:39:00.002+08:00

Step one you say we need to talk

He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Let him know that you know best

Cause after all you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you've told him all along

And pray to God he hears you

2010-10-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

no its not because of anyone, its cause i tried so fucking hard. and you don't fucking care. oh hi perfect date. today's not so perfect after all. tomorrow will be a better day. im sure of that. why? cause tomorrow, is Indian faci day. indian facis are cute.

bad bad week, everyone should really stay away, far far away. i told Mervyn to stay away from me just cause i was afraid of i dunno tripping him or swearing too much or whatever. i mean come on, what have i done. i don't even know him that well, and he was being friendly sitting beside me randomly. it was kinda awkward though. just out of the blues, he got up, sat beside me and said "hi, just wanna talk." AWKWARD.

2010-10-19T18:49:00.002+08:00

this FYP thing is really straining the shit out of the people around me. i have friends that haven't even form a group. and i have some that's ridiculously selfish and i dunno what to say. sighs. i wish its not that complicated. so i dunno, i can drag Feeqah in my group. but mentor told me that forming a team from other diplomas should be the last option cause of the projects and stuff.

things are going well, in almost every aspect. my PP is approved so i can actually focus on designing my poster or whatever which i have no clue how to do. i mean, its a poster, how hard can it be. right? well im asking help from seniors, cause im dumb.

FYP team done and we can proceed to choosing the nicest project. chey nicest :) my classmates are fine, there's a couple of friends that knows Thomas :D well i hope this blog of mine wont leak to the rest of the classmates. except Huda of course, waah three semesters with me, sick not? :D oh my tumblr is kinda out and about in the class, cause there are loads of tumblr fanatics, and teaching them how to change their dashboards was hilarious. silly people.

oh i don't think you're reading this anymore so i will just post out how i feel. or whatever. i saw you again today, and you're just a tap away but i guess it doesn't matter does it? besides you were with your friends.

i realize that you're always just a tap away. always a step away from me. i don't know why each time its so hard to make an effort to just tap and say hi. i don't even know what it is now. its funny, but its not funny that kinda thing you know? yes? i know everyone kept telling me the same thing, why even bother? what do i say to all these people. the classic brb? im not even making sense. i don't need it to make sense, i just need to vent it out. i wish things are a lot different. cause you're a joy. a headache but definitely a joy.

oh im clumsy today, very clumsy. i actually switched off my friend's laptop and she actually did three paragraphs of her RJ. right after that while apologizing, i spilled her melon juice i think, and it kinda splash all over her adapter. Fuck my day. okay that's not all. the earpiece got stuck on my jacket while i was taking it off. and i told my friend that i couldn't hear him cause im wearing my earpiece and the faci was like staring at me like "wtf, you're wearing ure earpiece during the third meeting" and the Huda incident. DONT EVEN. omg embarrassing.

Dani Dani, faster do your PP, i want to go home, Lisa finish already de liao leh, faster leh. almsot done leh. faster leh.
:( :(